In addition to partnering with parents, when a student reaches 11 years old, roughly the 4th stage of cognitive development, they begin to be able to imagine their future, to be part of planning their paths, and to some degree, their lives, and certainly, their dreams. This should be a fun and exciting process, but when a parent is in control, it can be difficult to detach the emotional connection.  This is where advisers, mentors, and coaches come in, and this is where my 25 years of work with students and their development (both cognitive and non-cognitive) is at its best.  I engage the student, at this critical stage of their development, and invite them in to partner in designing their own future and their own experiences. Self-reflection, communication skills (including development of their AQ (Articulation Quotient), goal planning  - I create this opportunity for all students, not just ones applying to private school or in private school because I realize and respect that there are many paths to development. However, until that student is empowered and “brought to life” in the process, the adults in their lives are often guessing (or pressuring) a particular pathway.